Saturday, February 27, 2010

i was going to write a story for a website but it turned into something else quite quickly

dear those who know me and think this may be about someone in particular: it isn't/it is, kind of and for the most part.  this is a semi-organized stream of thought regarding 'things' that sometimes deal heavily with 'her'.
Freshman in college trying to get some
Lovers in college taking philosophy together
Walking in gardens smiling at tulips 2 am
Thinking of the world each other and happiness
Crying over loss hate longing
How many people have you been with?
“between 100 and 500”
there was no rest that night
things were bad
things were good
sex, lots of sex
he walked in the snow in the cold in the freezing shit of the world
to be with her to escape her to be with her
he was with her for a second
for a few years
maybe four
flash back on a bench in the city or flash forward to a
flash back in a gazebo holding hands talking the night away where there was a
flash forward behind the glow of her laptop
maybe in a house where he sat in the glow while she partied
fucked and drank and ignored
maybe it wasn’t her
in college and confused sort of fucked
that was his first
that was her fears realized
realized when he was in the shower with another being that was different
wasn’t her
he lied
how many people have you been with?
“Between 100 and 500”
Things were bad
Things were good
Sex, lots of sex
Someone perished it was sad and everyone felt remorse
He was sad but he couldn’t cry
He tried to cry
He forced himself
Emotionally null or in love but all the same
Things were good
Things were bad
Sex, lots of sex
She saw an owl
An omen, or maybe just an owl
No she didn’t see it she loved it
No they were hiking she saw a deer
They fought they loved
Four years later she almost died
And he walked away
One day later he felt regret, remorse, longing, self-loathing
Three months later and six months and ten months and twelve months still
One year later he decided he wanted to be together forever
A month too late
A day too late
Two months too late
How many people have you been with?
“Between 100 and 500”
Things were good
Things were bad
Sex, there was no sex
She fell in love with another him
A different him
He’s only really been with one