Friday, April 15, 2011

thoughts, in moments so holy, of no-thing and no-one, but of every-thing and every-one or franny

this fractured life.
i see you and wish you the way you were-
what happened to you?
i liked you back then;
your awkwardness, the way you didn't quite fit in
we had an affinity for each other -
a commonness in our plights,
a meeting place in our disdain.
when you would put on your music and mope
i would become concerned,
you would become distant.
we were weird, all of us.
what did you accept?
how have you changed? settled?
content with your-self
you're too busy for me now
it's inescapable, this thought, the one that never fades:
you're better than me.

the daffodils have come, the tulips are blossoming.
the fragrant blossoms of flowering trees imitate the winter snow.
they settle around me, on my head, in my lap, 
the breeze wraps around my skin as it gently sweeps the petals away.
the bees are busy dancing in joy, chasing one another, 
hanging for a moment in unison, then separating.
my skin tingles from the sun's warmth - the warmth of the kitchen after a trouncing in the winter frost.
my eyes stare fixedly at nothing, though i see everything -
the billowing white clouds floating through the brilliant blue sky,
smoke rings that we blew out of hookahs in some summer gone.
a jet with contrails of grey fades from view and brings me back to the gritty.
it brings me back to the focus of my consciousness and out of this world,
do you hear me anymore? do you even listen when i speak?
or do you only disapprove?
i breathe heavily, let out a sigh.

am i the one who's changed?