Wednesday, February 3, 2010

ouch my eye really hurts

nah it's okay now
that was intense momentary pain
"help me to understand you. I think we need to try to let go."
that is sort of the same deal
but i don't know how to react to that
when my eye hurts i grasp it
itch it a little
and then everything is okay.
unfortunately i do not know how to itch my heart
or my brain 
this kind of pain sort of centers over my forehead maybe
and sometimes in my chest
it is more of a dull throb
but it does not make my face grimace like real pain
it makes me think about things a lot
i just erased the next line 4 times though i think i know how this will end
i was going to try to investigate how i feel
but i am pretty neutral right now
no one really enjoys reading about my feelings
and this seems so cliche
i fucking hate cliche
i am not depressed
i want my writing to be slightly sardonic, ideally humorous and not just sad and bleak and depressing
sometimes i think my only follower jenna thinks i'm depressed
but she knows better
i think
well, i'm still stuck on 'hello'
except, there was no 'hello'
instead you said
"so i minimized, and your eyes filled every empty space"
ya it still ended how i thought it would